I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
