I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
