So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
