Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
