Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
