I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
