Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
