didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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