oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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