Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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