just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
