Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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