Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
