I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
