she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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