Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
