the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
