i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize