found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
