i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
