Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
