Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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