I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Randomize
