"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
