The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
