East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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