Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
