Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
