This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
