he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
