champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
