Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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