I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
false alarm. still invincible.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
