Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
