ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
