i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
