he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
