ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead