Your tits are I can't wait for
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
