I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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