You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
