I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
