My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
