I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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