Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
