Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
