Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
