So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
