I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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