Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
