Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
