I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me