Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning

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  (503): i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking (1-503): I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning http://tfl.nu/mjdo
  Replies (14) Good night (4785) Bad night (734)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

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  (336): I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome. http://tfl.nu/6uzt
  Replies (18) Good night (3807) Bad night (1297)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.

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  (613): Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big. http://tfl.nu/u6h6
  Replies (15) Good night (7030) Bad night (826)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?

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  (847): I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control? http://tfl.nu/c36m
  Replies (10) Good night (1006) Bad night (2309)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy

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  (517): These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy http://tfl.nu/omc1
  Replies (11) Good night (3317) Bad night (1042)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.

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  (979): I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that. http://tfl.nu/fwoy
  Replies (1) Good night (1100) Bad night (744)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.

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  (678): Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch. http://tfl.nu/rrk7
  Replies (7) Good night (2912) Bad night (498)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.

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  (905): Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well. http://tfl.nu/5evy
  Replies (4) Good night (1275) Bad night (565)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.

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  (413): 2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick. http://tfl.nu/06th
  Replies (4) Good night (655) Bad night (1319)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...

  (718): View more from New York

  What do herpes have to do with anything?

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  (609): I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico... (718): What do herpes have to do with anything? http://tfl.nu/w2v0
  Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (1230)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

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  (914): Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off http://tfl.nu/fxgn
  Replies (8) Good night (1293) Bad night (564)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or

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  (571): The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or http://tfl.nu/mgim
  Replies (10) Good night (1691) Bad night (595)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.

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  (417): She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night. http://tfl.nu/v9wx
  Replies (0) Good night (1121) Bad night (431)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?

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  (425): So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt? http://tfl.nu/9qop
  Replies (8) Good night (1634) Bad night (412)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"

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  (586): Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh" http://tfl.nu/2zz2
  Replies (18) Good night (1654) Bad night (297)

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