Just took my morning after pill in the library
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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