remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?