Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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