Texts From Last Night

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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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  (321): low key just jizzed in a chinese food container http://tfl.nu/tufb
  Replies (7) Good night (728) Bad night (3734)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.

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  (503): Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/g56z
  Replies (13) Good night (3657) Bad night (1003)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive

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  (413): he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive http://tfl.nu/jlaw
  Replies (13) Good night (1950) Bad night (3773)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.

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  (763): I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts. http://tfl.nu/j2dd
  Replies (3) Good night (942) Bad night (2556)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober

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  (440): uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober http://tfl.nu/fk8a
  Replies (4) Good night (3849) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.

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  (925): He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept. http://tfl.nu/niyr
  Replies (23) Good night (3287) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.

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  (410): The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal. http://tfl.nu/fe59
  Replies (17) Good night (911) Bad night (1366)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

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  (707): He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple. http://tfl.nu/9nil
  Replies (5) Good night (772) Bad night (944)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.

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  (513): We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit. http://tfl.nu/qhz6
  Replies (2) Good night (2060) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking

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  (850): Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking http://tfl.nu/6x7l
  Replies (3) Good night (1323) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?

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  (248): spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years? http://tfl.nu/coam
  Replies (3) Good night (1402) Bad night (405)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff

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  (361): I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff http://tfl.nu/5gl3
  Replies (10) Good night (1192) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am not getting you a goat.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.

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  (314): I am not getting you a goat. (479): Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable. http://tfl.nu/eqxl
  Replies (5) Good night (975) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.

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  (323): I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage. http://tfl.nu/vubj
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.

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  (218): If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/s3qv
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (241)

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