come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.