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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.

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• (435): View more from Utah

  If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.

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• (845): View more from New York

  From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (540): View more from Virginia

  Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea

  (214): View more from Texas

  WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.

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• (805): View more from California

  getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine

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• (561): View more from Florida

  I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates

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