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• (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

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• (585): View more from New York

  you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.

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• (415): View more from California

  Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.

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• (949): View more from California

  I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like the Christmas morning of dicks

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.

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• (716): View more from New York

  At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.

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