well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize