Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
