dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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