My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
