never play flip cup with pint glasses
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
