If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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