This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
