What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Do vagina's smell?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
